Don’t you just love/hate that hanging/floating “I am in a bubble” feeling? I do.
Not that I am at a point of commitment with anyone at the moment; However Bella sure did turn me away from looking her way.
So… before I start…she is my neighbor so outside of some fun flirting I wasn’t really expecting anything substantial. We have had some talks while the kids played….she called me to pick her and the kids up from the pool one day…we sat next to the pool and chatted. All seems very “friendly” right? I thought so. Among other things I asked her if she dated. Her response was a good one. It focused on the fact that she was unsure with all the stuff around her ex wanting to come back and all. — Well you should have seen the man who rolled up to pick her up last night. I am not the nosy neighbor at all. As I stood outside playing with my kids and tweaking some sprinkler heads…this very nice sporty Mercedes pulls up. Out of this car comes an older, fashionable, short man. I chuckled inside. He looked very well put together and typical of what you see in the suburbs of North Dallas when you go out.
Well at first I was a bit taken back. Then I remembered wait…No expectations, right? Yes, no expectations. It means no reason to be disappointed. Yet, I was. I was disappointed that she wasn’t truthful. If I am ever going to lie it isn’t going to be to the neighbor who lives across the street and can see my comings and goings. I am an adult…just be real and sincere.
So this is a “Hanging in the wind” moment. One where your thoughts get ahead of you and you are out there like a bubble in the wind…wishing….hoping…and thinking higher! Then *pop* the bubble bursts and you are back to reality.
Reality is that we are neighbors/friends and that is a good thing for now. She did send me a txt msg today: “Hi there. Just though you would want to know that your kids are at the pool and we came down here. They are having so much fun. J Happy Friday.” Me: “ Awesome! Enjoy the pool and your day off. Maybe I’ll see you around this weekend.” Hers: “Think we are going to BBQ tonight and have some friends over. You all are welcome to come over around 7 or so. I will enjoy the day and you do the same”. Me: “Sounds fun. Let me know what to bring. I am sure the kids will be on board.” Her: “J” - BBQs are what neighbors do.
The way I look at it. You’ll see more of someone’s character in everyday life. If you watch closely you see a person how they really are…and not just when they are “putting on the show”.
All in all I just wanted to vent. She is a good person with a great spirit… I don’t know why she told me she wasn’t dating. I am in another bubble at the moment. A bubble that has me a lot higher than I have been in awhile. Maybe this bubble will land in someone’s hand.
11 comments
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July 25, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Katherine
Hey, thanks for sharing your personal blog. Great reflection. And don’t give up on the neighbor just yet. One night out with a dressed up guy, does not a serious relationship make
.
Let me know if I may add you to my blogroll.
July 25, 2008 at 1:14 pm
T
And who’s to say that the gentleman wasn’t her father or uncle? Hmmmm?
Ya never know. Just be a good friend to her, with no expectations (I know, that’s the hard part) and see what transpires.
And be your-wonderful-self!
July 25, 2008 at 1:32 pm
OneManThreeKids
@ Katherine – I am not giving up…just not expecting. Of course you can add me… I like the attention!!
@T – How do I know? That is the wonder of kids…they tell all and you never have to ask. She left her kids home with the older son. My son actually got the goods…”whose car was that?” he asks her daughter. She said “my mommy dates him”. I just happend to be out there in the yard observing. Gotta love kids…nothing is held back.
I will always be me…confused. LOL
July 25, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Exception
Those expectations will bite you every time! (At least they do me) I try very hard to live in the moment and appreciate each day etc, but… there are those times when everything is clicking and well, it is hard not to try and look ahead with some sort of expectation. Not having them is a challenge sometimes!
July 26, 2008 at 5:16 am
Jane Wonder
Alas, she’s probably just not that into you. But look at it this way… it’s better to know before there is real damage done, right? That’s how I always look at it when the same kind of thing happens to me. (Which it does. Often.)
Don’t take it personally though. It can’t count as rejection when she doesn’t really know you in the first place. At least, that’s my new rule.
July 27, 2008 at 12:23 am
The Wingman
Hm. I see it a little differently. I think she IS into you. Silly she thought you might not notice date dude…but she’s obviously not into him (entirely) or she would have told you so. Flat out. Instead, she chose to say she “wasn’t dating”. Which, personally, as I know you’ll agree, is irritating. Come out with it already. But…it’s her way of saying the door is open. She’s saying, “No one has me right now… *hint* *hint*”.
Me? I’d proceed with caution. Knowing she’s got a little somethin’ for ya, but knowing she’s got a little somethin’ elsewhere. *shrug*
July 27, 2008 at 9:01 am
QTMama
Well, Jane Wonder and Wingman both have very good points here.
But I’m going to make one more. She’s stupid. How the hell did she think you wouldn’t notice this? Or more to the point, that one of her five children wouldn’t mention this to one of your kids? That is what bugs me about her – why lie? What’s the point?
Just my 2 cents, which really, are probably jaded.
July 27, 2008 at 11:58 am
Nicole-Mommy2Jl
I think if she wasn’t into you then she would have just told you straight up that she was dating someone.. just saying..
It’s always my favourite deterrent
Maybe she just said she wasn’t dating because she wants a little more time to feel things out and see where they go.
Dating a neighbour is kind of an iffy situation.
July 27, 2008 at 9:57 pm
singleparentdad
Found your blog through another blog and thought I’d add my 2 cents to your post.
When you asked her if she dated, she probably knew what you were wondering/asking. The fact that she said she was “unsure” probably was a way of politely avoiding what she thought might be coming next…
But personally, I wouldn’t try to read too much into it either way. You two seem to have a good platonic relationship which not only benefits yourselves but your kids. She may cherish that more than a romantic relationship…I know as a parent, I wouldn’t want to jeopardize such a relationship by injecting romance/sex into it. A good neighbor and friend with kids who are friends to your kids are much harder to come by than a “date” IMHO.
July 28, 2008 at 1:40 pm
SingleMomSeeking
I know you didn’t mean for this to be funny… but I kind of chuckled. I can just see you peering from out the window. (Not a nosy neighbor? Ha ha.)
I agree with “T:” You don’t know who this guy is… Did you see them smooching at the door?
I agree with Single Parent Dad, too: How great it is to have a kind single parent neighbor… if you’re out of eggs?
Please keep us in touch. Great post!
July 28, 2008 at 2:44 pm
OneManThreeKids
Thanks to all for the differing perspectives and advice. I posted an update in today’s post.