So the weekend came and went. I am not going to focus on any of the mundane things like laundry, shopping (with kids), or other routine stuff that we all do.  I am going straight to the good stuff…

As I left work on Friday I was unsure of the BBQ with Bella status…so I sent txt to Bella asking if it were still ago before I let the kids in on the plans…she said it was and to come at 7pm. I replied asking if I could bring something…she said “something sweet”. Well I brought fresh strawberries, angel food cake, whipped cream, and watermelon. When I walked in with it…she laughed and called me a “dork”.  (According to nearby girlfriend…dork is a term of affection with her.) After further explanation from Bella…I was only supposed to bring me. <smile> 

So the night was pretty crazy…Bella had her five kids, five more that she was watching, a couple and their two kids, plus me and my three.  Yes, do the math fifteen kids were there at one point or another. It was a bit crazy…so what did we do? We drank.

The drink of choice was margaritas. Since she didn’t have the ingredients…I quickly offered up my liquor and use of my blender (I so love this thing!!!). While I am not a big drinker, I do have quite a selection of liquor for all the entertaining I had planned to do while single (that entertaining never happened. Ugh!!). So, I hustled across the street and got the goods. One flaw is that while I may have the goods…I don’t know how to use the goods…I am talking about making drinks. Good thing…Bella does. She apparently worked as a bartender after her split up. So now thanks to her…I know how to make a pitcher of frozen margaritas.  Ah, teaching me already. LOL

As the night went on we handled kid issues, laughed, swapped stories, and I made new friends in S&K (Bella’s married couple friends down the street).  If I recall we carried on until twelve-thirty when my little AA decided she was ready to sleep…”Daddy…I am tired…can we go home?”  How can I say no to that… So home we went… Just not before Bella said… “We are going to the pool early…are you guys joining us?” …another question that I couldn’t say no to.

The hard thing here is that Bella and I never get any time to just chat…good…bad…or indifferent…it has rarely occurred. Until poolside Saturday… the conversation started innocently until she said “You make me nervous”. I was like… “I do? How?”  It all comes down to the attention. She feels that I like her and it makes her nervous. She was with her husband for fifteen years…high school sweethearts…and well she isn’t ready for commitment and senses I am. She is just trying to find herself again…only dating since February, she is just getting started. I respect that about her. No desire to jump for the first good thing.  The conversation was great. She openly admitted that she enjoys me and wants me to keep coming around so we can continue to get to know each other. I told her that I understood all too well and that I’d never want to take away from our potential friendship by crossing boundaries.

So I stood there and shook my fists at God… timing!! It isn’t with me. If there is one lesson God is trying to get me to learn it is patience.  I rest my head in the hope that it will all come in the right timing…no matter how much I desire it at the present. It is funny how the test will keep repeating until I am able to master the skill. Ugh! 

Every day I am faced with hundreds of choices…some of them innocuous…the either or kind…turn left or turn right? Others require a bit more thought…Eat a bacon cheeseburger, which I love, or a flavorless salad, which I know is better for me, however it will ultimately leave me feeling unsatisfied. Then there are those really tough choices…Should I seek out someone to be with just because I am somewhat isolated and yearn so deeply for any kind of human contact that my skin actually hurts or be still and endure.