Ready to launch!

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that Bella and I are not going to happen…at least for the moment. I knew that last week. Yes, I am still going to be nice…just not going to approach it with a full court press. We’ll be neighbors…and we’ll build whatever friendship can come of it. Plain and simple.

Yet I desire to get out there again. This desire has been bubbling for a little while now. However, I haven’t really put any effort into my “dating life”. A few months ago I decided to take some time off and just be me. To listen to my heart…my spirit. I wasn’t going to aggressively pursue women. If one stumbled into my backyard, then I’d sniff around and see what could happen…otherwise it was just kids, family, and work. Then something just happened…a feeling to be vulnerable…a willingness to find someone to share with…a desire to connect. It seems all my excuses have been removed and it was just me…I was the last excuse. My excuse was…I tried this before…and got nowhere…and this time I needed a way to do it without it becoming work. So I set out to put myself out there one more time… Yes, I entered the online dating pool once again.

To me online dating is a chore. You attempt to create a marketing masterpiece of who you are and what you are looking for in a few hundred words or less (and let’s face it I am not a literary wonder). Then you proceed to find some pictures of yourself that reflect who you are, yet good enough to physically attract a  female on the prowl. Once you get all this set up you could literally spend hours searching and sending out emails…just hoping to get a nibble. Well this wasn’t going to be my approach this time…I set out seven days ago to simply put myself out there and see what came my way. I am fishing with a bobber….Cast and wait.

So there I am that late, lonely Saturday night (yes, feel sorry for me) online reading blogs and contemplating which personals site to cast myself into…I found it! A site that I was on almost two years ago…my profile was still there, just inactive. So I tweaked it…specified the type of woman I am looking for…added some new pictures and cast it out for the world to view. It didn’t take long. It was getting views… some attractive ones… some not so attractive… Then came a few interesting messages…So I paid the fee and I began responding.

So at this time there are two ladies who seem to have sincere interest in me… Now here is where the fun comes in…

One is very straight forward. I shall call her piranha. She is 38 and the single mother of two. Seems to know what she wants…has no problem asking. She has some extreme sexual energy about her…we share similar stories…and we can talk on the phone very well. My two flags here…she steers clear of my faith conversations and we always end up talking about sex. I get the sex part…we are both single parents with a few needs longing to be met…I have no problems giving good phone/IM sex and talking you through getting yours; however can we at first chat up the day? Can we find some depth?  I know it is abnormal; however I am a lover and need to be romanced a little. LOL There are some scary connection-like things…yet I am pushing back to see if it is just me yearning to connect versus real sustainable attributes…which takes time, not sex.

The other… She is 31 and a single mom of one. I shall call her unicorn. I have heard about these unicorns, yet I have not seen one as of yet. Our relationship to this point has been limited to a few emails…a lot of txt msgs…a couple of phone calls…and some IM chat. She appears to be a grounded, intelligent, funny, and very attractive. Her faith shows in her communications and lifestyle. She is active with and close to her immediate family. Everything I see says press on…yet the pace is one that is forcing patience (which I stink at). We are in the “planning” stages of our potential first meeting. I am eager to pursue as this woman is a keeper so far.

As I set back and ponder… I like the idea of being the pursued yet it seems backwards to me. I know I am old fashioned…but too easy, seems too easy.

 

 

**Update**
Piranha and I met Friday after work for the very first time. I greeted her in the parking lot with a hug and she added a kiss. So the tone was set for an interesting evening. I won’t lie…she is an attractive woman. Blonde hair, green eyes, just enough make-up, and has a nice HWP body…very nice. The first few minutes were very awkward. She just smiled and stared at me…which made me quite uncomfortable. She “loves my eyes” and “could stare at them all night long”. I felt very uncomfortable…mostly because I am usually the one doing the complimenting. Needless to say…the balance was off. As we sat on the patio she kept constant hold of my arm or hand…always gently caressing it. She gave off some serious vibes…the “take me now” vibes. We chatted about various things…much of the surface type stuff a first date brings. I was enjoying the time…feeling aroused…just not getting the connection. The night progressed and we went to a spot closer to our houses (go figure we live about a mile from each other). We had a few drinks and chatted. As it approached the 11th hour I mentioned that we should go as it was getting late. I paid up and we headed outside. As I went to hug her goodbye…she met me and began to kiss me…I kissed back…then we ended up in my truck making out like two high school kids with nowhere else to go. Let’s just say…I could have… BUT I didn’t.

Good thing I have the kids to act as speed bumps…cause I have to pump the breaks.